Sunday, October 14, 2012

Sunday in Seattle

Fall is in full swing in Seattle! Every day I wake up to the oh so wonderful smell of wet pavement from the rain during the night and want to put on a pair of fuzzy socks, bake some cookies, grab a good book off the shelf, and be extra cozy with Stephen in bed all day. The trees are every shade of green, yellow, orange, and red, and the air is always crisp and fresh. Every where you look there are signs of fall... Including in my wardrobe! It is the perfect time for scarves and boots and I am thoroughly enjoying this change in outfits.

Honestly, it's all a little breath taking and picture perfect and I'm going to miss it when the trees are bare and the rain is more constant. But then I am sure to fall in love with some cute rain boots and a fun umbrella and puddle jumping and winter coats and hot chocolate and Christmas decorations...

But before winter officially hits, Stephen and I have a lot to look forward to! I am continuing to work and am starting to fall into my role more and more and liking it more and more. Stephen is still working his way through school with his third midterm in a row tomorrow! My mom, sister, and niece are coming to visit for the weekend! Which will include lots of shopping and baking and baby talk and loving on Miss Harper Jean. (I am sooo excited!!) We have a doctor's appointment next Wednesday to check up on our baby boy! We're attending a Timeflies concert on the 25th! (Pregnant lady at a techno concert...that will be interesting!) Halloween is coming up! (Candy, anyone?!) Many flag football and volleyball games to play and attend! And Stephen's parents are coming to visit in early November! I think it goes without saying, but we're pretty excited for all that we having going on :)

Lots of excitement about that little bump ^^ going on, too :) He has officially joined gymnastics and is currently (as I'm sitting on the couch with a fuzzy blanket sipping on a smoothie) making my tummy jump and roll, the first time I've seen him move! I paused from the blog to have a happy dance moment with Stephen and shed a tear or two... I get to carry our baby boy inside me and forever hold these memories... I still can't wrap my head around it all... How crazy and wonderful it is!

I've been thinking lately about having Uriah here and what our lives will look like with a baby, and then a toddler, and then a child... And for some reason I keep picturing sending him off to his senior prom in a tux... I want to be such a good mom; we both want to be such good parents... But what does that look like? Do we know what we're doing? Will I be a good example for my son? Am I already, or do I have work to do before he gets here?

I do know that more than anything I want to invest more time in my son than I do money. I want to show him love and grace and fill his life with light and laughter. I want him to know Christ, and I know that he must get to know him through me. And I know that's not necessarily how it always works. Jesus finds the believers and the non, he finds them in Christian homes and in college sororities. "But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." I want Uriah to know the love of Christ because of my relationship with Christ. So do I have a relationship with Christ that radiates onto others? Will Christ's love shine through me so that my son will know Him?

Today in church we discussed Acts 4-6 and the barriers that prevent us from having a relationship with Christ. Our pastor told us a story about taking a group of teenagers on a hike, a hike that required the use of an ice ax once you reached a certain point. When they could travel no more without the use of the ice ax, he began to teach them how to use it. To really practice, after they'd learned, he pushed them down the hill and they had to use their ax to stop them from going any further. One student towards the end of the line refused to be pushed down the hill. And because he refused to use his ax in practice, he was not allowed to continue on the hike. He was stuck.

Our pastor then related this hike to having Jesus in our lives. We like Jesus, we say we like Him as a whole, but truthfully have a problem with one part. "We like Christ until His ethics effect us." It's like every person voting in the upcoming election. "Yes, manage the budget! Just don't touch the defense part, or the social security part, or the _______ part!" Whatever part of the budget that effects your life, is the part you don't want to change. "We only want Jesus in certain parts of our lives" ..."I want Jesus in my life until He starts effecting my sexual behavior, or my relationship with my family, or my _______" Whatever part of your life changes because you know Jesus, is the part of Jesus that you don't like. Whatever it is that you don't want to give up, becomes a barrier to Christ.

So just like the kid on the hike who is stuck and can go no further, most of us are stuck. We can continue going to church and praying and saying we have a relationship with Jesus, but if we're not willing to get pushed down the trail and use our ice ax, we're never going to reach the top. And stopping before you get to the top, will lead you to misrepresent Christ. And I don't want to do that. Not for myself, not for those around me, not for my son...

So what is my barrier? What is stopping me from reaching the top of the hill, from having a true and full relationship with Christ? What's stopping you?

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