Wednesday, November 12, 2014

a name

This little girl of ours has had a name for a few years, now. I can't remember when it first came up - when Stephen and I were dating, engaged, first married? - or how, but "Ezra" fell in our laps and it was a done deal - we were in love. Traditionally a boy's name, but I immediately saw a blue eyed, curly blonde girl named Ezra in our lives and I have been (in)patiently waiting to use it ever since.

Even still, over the years (especially when I was pregnant with Uriah) I kept looking up girl names. When I got pregnant this time, I spent more time researching boy names - sort of thinking I was bound to have a boy, but also because I had already used my favorite one! I now have a long list of favorites, but have always kept 'Ezra' at the top. When we found out it was a girl (a little to our surprise!) I realized I would actually be able to use the name we picked out so long ago.

It was a name Stephen and I cam across together, maybe I don't remember how or when we first thought to use it, but we both immediately loved it. We didn't even really question it - that was going to be our little girl's name. It's been it wanted and planned and we've been waiting to use it - just as our little girl has been wanted by us and waited for by the whole family and planned by God. Maybe God put that name in our hearts and the desire to use it for a little girl because He knew we would get the chance to. Maybe I'm just making stuff up to try and portray just how special and meaningful this name is to us ;) Either way, when we found out it was a girl there was no question. She had a name waiting for her.

Ezra Lee Wall 

Ezra means "helper" and Lee is Stephen's middle name (as well as his Grandma Brown's and his Great Grandpa Brown's) and means "healer" - maybe she'll be a doctor like her daddy and namesake :) And Wall is a name she will share with us, for a limited time, but it will always been who she is deep down, who she was first.

We can't wait to meet you, Ezra. I can't believe you are ours... We love you already more than you will ever know.

Friday, November 7, 2014

it's a...


We announced our exciting news a few days ago on Instagram when we found out, but I'm still a little shocked...! Before I met Stephen, I always assumed I'd have a daughter, maybe even all girls! I had a sister, I had more girl cousins than boy cousins and more aunts than uncles, and now my sister's had two girls! I knew girls - I understood girls. But, you see, the Walls make boys - lots and lots of boys. I was totally ok and excited about the idea of having a son (though I was admittedly a little nervous when I found out Uriah was a boy because I wasn't sure how to mother boys - I've learned ;)) but as more Wall boys kept coming out of the family, I started to assume I'd have all boys, too. Now that I've had Uriah, I knew I would be totally content with all boys if that's the way it was going to go down. I think I know, now, what I'm doing in mothering a boy (though I've got lots to learn!) and I love it! But, of course, every girl wants a daughter, and especially since my relationship with my mom is so special, so I kept holding out a little bit of hope that one day I would be seeing pink.

When I got pregnant, everyone started taking their bets and everyone kept guessing girl! I wanted to agree and believe them, but still, I just kinda assumed it'd be a boy! They (whoever they are) say to ask your first born, so we did! Uriah's not a big talker and doesn't know the difference between 'boy' and 'girl', so whenever we asked if the baby was a boy, he'd say yes, and whenever we asked if the baby was a girl, he'd say yes (so then I started thinking twins ;)) One night, about 9 weeks pregnant, I had a dream that I was talking to Uriah about the baby and when I asked if it was a girl, he said yes, but when I asked him if the baby was a boy, he said no. I woke up a little excited! But, a little apprehensive. It was just a dream. I couldn't shake the thought though, and since the one gender revealing dream I had while pregnant with Uriah was spot on... I started to think, maybe!

A few weeks later, Uriah and I were reading one of his books and on the last page there's a boy and a girl and I was pointing to each in turn, telling him what they were. Mostly for kicks and giggles sake, I asked him which one was the baby in mommy's tummy. He looked at me, looked thoughtfully at the two characters and then deliberately pointed to the girl. He looked up at me and smiled - my excitement grew. It was a little silly to base my baby's gender off what my 19 month old was saying, but more and more I kept thinking we were having a girl. When I thought about the baby or went to talk about it, "she" and "her" kept coming to mind - it was my first instinct!

So, fast forward to 19 weeks pregnant, I still thought baby was a girl, but when I pictured going to the ultrasound, I pictured the tech showing me a penis! Probably because that's all I knew, but still. I wasn't going to be at all surprised (or disappointed!) if the baby turned out to be a boy after all.

We piled into the room and the tech got started. Right away she said baby was breeched and balled up, so getting a good shot of anything was going to be hard. She started working her way through the body telling me it had a big, healthy brain, long legs, arms and toes (dad!), and a beautiful heart (we got to listen to the heartbeat and watch hiccups!) By the time she got to searching for the gender, I was already crying. Baby was healthy and beautiful. As excited as I was to find out the gender, I was so very nervous that we would discover more than we bargained for. And while problems could still arise, at 19 weeks baby was growing right on schedule with absolute perfection and my heart was so happy.

I got up to pee and do a little dance to try to get baby to move. Lucky for us, it worked! The tech got a clear shot of the bum and? There was no penis! She was definitely a girl. A GIRL! So it is physically possible for the Walls to make girls! ;) The first in 46 years and we are thrilled she is ours!

 ^^ Ahh! Can you believe it?! ^^
 ^^ Long, skinny baby feet! ^^ 
^^ She sat through most of the ultrasound like this - that's her knees up by her head! ^^