happy birthday to me!

Yesterday was my birthday, and a happy one it was! I woke up in the morning to flowers and doughnuts (maple bars, duh!) and a husband who vowed to take the whole day off from studying! (In our medical school world, this is a big deal and very much appreciated!) After a lazy morning lounging, I got to spend some time with my friend, Amanda, and her little babe, Natalie, while we watched our husband's play some basketball. And they won! And a happy husband equals a happy wife!

Stephen then surprised me with possibly the all time greatest gift...ever! At least for a 34 week impatient pregnant lady... Inside my birthday card was a picture of Uriah from our very first ultrasound at 11 weeks, and on the back was written our plans to see him again, on my birthday, in 3D! Giddy and excited and oh so grateful (and oh so pregnant!) I started crying! What an amazing gift... To be able to see our baby boy...
It didn't occur to me until we were on our way that we could discover something was wrong with him at this appointment. We hadn't had an ultrasound since I was 18 weeks and I opted out of all the genetic testing... My mind started to wander and I started to get a little nervous. But there he was, on three different screens, in 3D, healthy and perfect! He had both his hands up by his chin (and even a foot!), sucking on his wrists and the umbilical cord! Always moving his lips, kissing, opening his mouth, trying to find something to put in it! Chubby cheeks, double chin, and rolls on his wrists... He was snuggling into my pelvis and the placenta, perfectly content. He's got thee longest feet and toes (definitely a Stephen trait) and everyone thinks he's got my lips and Stephen's nose. I know newborns change so much and so fast, but it's still fun to play the "who he looks like" game.

We got sent home with pictures, a CD of pictures, a DVD, and all sorts of free goodies. I made it to the car before bursting into tears... Happy tears! The very best tears! I was overwhelmed with love for Stephen for thinking of such a thoughtful gift and for my son who is so handsome and so real! Seeing him, actually seeing what he looks like, made all of this so much more real and so much more worth it and exciting! I already felt so connected to him, but now...?

After calling my mom and sharing pictures with our family, I found myself sitting in our living room just smiling... With the sun beaming in through the windows, looking at my husband and pictures of our baby and our cute little home we've been so blessed with... How lucky am I? I was feeling more emotions than my heart could hold. Love, excitement, gratefulness, joy, blessed... I sat there, just staring, feeling more content than I think I ever have. And what a neat experience to feel on my birthday? Total love and acceptance and joy over my life... It was a beautiful moment and a beautiful day.

Literally, a beautiful day! We woke up to frosted grass, but by the afternoon we had a clear sky, a bright beaming sun, no wind, just a crisp, clean feeling in the air! (It's supposed to stay sunny all week!) Stephen and I enjoyed each other's company for the rest of the afternoon. He made me carrot cake (my favorite! and his 4th year making it for me!) and read me Harry Potter (we're working our way back through the series! almost done with the third!). We ordered pizza and had some friends over for dinner, dessert and games. (Grateful for those who came and the gifts they brought with them! Thank you!)

Post dessert, Stephen and I headed out for a quick walk in the cool night air before turning in early to read some more and talk with each other snuggled under the covers in our cozy bed. What a perfect way to end such a perfect day!

So there isn't much to turning 23. Turing 21 is cool because, well, you're 21! And 22 is just one year after you turn 21 so it's still kinda cool. Most 22 year olds are still doing what 21 year olds do. Turing 24 is pretty big because in just one more year you'll be 25, which officially marks adulthood in my opinion. I mean, honestly, I would take someone more seriously if they said they were 25 versus if they said they were 23. At 25 I kinda expect people to have their life together. You know, a decent job, a wife or husband, maybe a kid... It just seems more adult to me. I feel like 25 is usually a good year for people, you know, it's like, their year. But then there's 23. Stuck right in the middle with no importance or significance. It's an odd number, too, and I don't like odd numbers (except for ones that end in 5... my mom will understand). So here I am. 23. And while I was 22, which is practically still 21, I thought that 23 would be an insignificant year for me. But now, instead, I'm thinking 23 could be the year. You know, the year where big things happen and big changes come and I kinda find myself. Maybe my 23 is like everyone else's 25. Maybe I become who I'm supposed to be, or at least realize who I've been... I think, maybe, this could be my year.

Knowing I could be about to experience my year, the year where it all just kinda clicks and falls into place...well, it's making me very grateful for the past 23 years. For my parents who raised me and have loved me and put up with me, my friends who have come and gone and all taught me something different, my husband who loves me unconditionally even though I don't deserve it, my God who created me and brought me here to where I am today... Thank you, all.