eighteen.

How far along are you?: 18 weeks, 1 day

Baby is: the size of a sweet potato - 5.5 inches and 5 ounces

Obsessing over: double strollers. Why are there so many and why are all my favorites so far from my price range!?

Favorite moment this week: feeling kicks - definite kicks! It's so surreal. I forgot how weird and wonderful it was! Nothing big enough to feel from the outside, yet, but throughout the day, usually when I'm sitting, I can feel those sweet little kicks and every time it makes me stop and smile and wait for more. 

Feeling: SO MUCH BETTER! Second trimester energy? It's about damn time you showed up! I stopped getting sick a couple weeks ago, but I still have been getting bogged down so easily. I know that will come and go, but I can make it through the day without falling asleep on Uriah's bedroom floor (yes, it's happened multiple times since August) and stay awake in bed long enough to kiss my husband goodnight. I am loving it! 

Working on: loving the bump. I was so excited when it showed up but pregnancy round two is harder than I thought it would be, body image wise. I figured the first time around I would be self conscious about my changing body but the second time would be easier because, you know, been there done that. I don't know what it is... But maybe the bigger it gets, the more pregnant I look, the easier it'll get...? 

Thinking about: our timeline. The other day I mentioned how Uriah will be 2 years and 2 months when the baby is born, and then I realized that he'll be 2 in just 3 months... TWO in three months?! And then I started thinking about how 3 months really isn't that long and how fast that will go by with all that we have going on this winter and then it just snowballed from there... If Uriah is going to be 2 years and 2 months when the baby is born, and Uriah turns 2 in 3 months, that means the baby is coming in 5... 5 months! I had a mini panic attack sitting on the couch after dinner thinking all this through. I guess I just kept thinking "the baby is coming in April", "the baby is due in the spring" and 'spring' and 'April' seemed so far away. I never actually counted it out and said it out loud...! The baby is coming, guys! And I know April is sorta still far away, but our schedule is CRAZY between now and then and I know it's just going to fly... 

Anticipating: next weeks doctors appointment! You guys...! Boy or girl? I don't know what I'm hoping to see more on the screen, honestly. In the one dream I've had revealing baby's gender it was a girl, and the one gender dream I had while pregnant with Uriah was accurate so...?! We shall see! 

Currently craving: flavored lemonade, turkey sandwiches for lunch, fruit, cereal, baked goodies, you know, all the contents of my kitchen. 

Wishing: to get a better grasp on that timeline mentioned above. I do not want to wish these days away. I so badly want this little baby to be here, but I need time to prepare - prepare myself and Uriah and our family. I need time to be with my husband before he starts residency and I need time to be with my first born before he feels he has to compete for my attention. I so often jump to the next thing, I'm all about what comes next, but I am wishing and praying and hoping that contentment fills my heart these next five months and I am just able to BE. 

What are you most looking forward to?: watching Uriah discover that the baby in my belly is an actual baby. I know he probably won't care for the baby for awhile, especially when it's stealing all mom's attention, but Stephen and I were playing with Uriah the other night and we both got really excited about the idea of giving him a sibling. Not that we don't love to play with him, or love that he wants us to play with him, but I'm sure he'll think a little brother or sister makes a much better playmate (when they're old enough to actually play). It just made me realize that we're not just having a baby, we're having another baby. This doesn't just affect the two of us, it affects Uriah. We're giving him a sibling!