twenty one months

Twenty one months of Uriah. Of cuddles and laughter and hugs and kisses and tears (from all of us) and memories. Twenty one months. My next update will be coming at you from two years. I'm going to have a two year old... And I am looking forward to the next age with excitement and only slight amounts of fear. Surely it's not going to be totally terrible, right?

Uriah, you are exhausting. Fun and sweet and lovable and cute and FUN, but so very, very exhausting. Truthfully, though, I wouldn't change it. While you are becoming much more opinionated and determined and have perfected the "no" tantrum (which breaks my heart, makes me want to laugh and makes me oh so frustrated all at once) making some of our days together nothing but difficult, you are far more often happy, sweet and easy going.

And when I say 'sweet', I mean sweet. Like, melt my heart, I'm a puddle on the floor, crazy crying mommy emotions, sweet. You love giving kisses and hugs to daddy and I and all your favorite stuffed animals (blankey, too). You read books to your stuffed animals, too! When we're playing together, doing something you really like, you often stop in the middle of it all to sign 'thank you' or 'I love you'. You so sweetly ask for "mo" (more) every night as I'm rocking and singing you to sleep and you can always coerce me into more books before nap time because you want to sit longer with momma in your chair. I mean, come on...!

Even though you're all about the cuddles (every momma's dream!) you are so very much a BOY! Which is a whole new territory for me, but I think I've adapted pretty well. After all, I was the one who taught you to attack ants with sticks. That makes me cool, right? You love being outside - any day, all day, that's where you'd prefer to be! You refuse to wear gloves or a hat and cry every time we put your sweatshirt on, but the cold never seems to bothers you. You love to "go go go" (running), play chase, collect sticks, dig in the dirt, get bugs and play at the playground. Red cheeks are a sign of a good day :)

You're also all about airplanes and cars and helicopters and anything that goes. "Pairpane!" "Cop cop!" You're always looking for them when we're outside and love finding them in your 'I Spy' books (another favorite thing of yours right now!). You're favorite movie is 'Planes Fire and Rescue". We took you to see it in theaters (your first (and only) time!) and you've been talking about it ever since. "Pairpane! Dum! Hot!" That's you (repeatedly) describing that the airplanes dump water on the hot fire. You will tell anyone who listens and I love the intensity on your face when you say it!

Animals. Can't forget the animals! You know a sound or a sign for all of them. Literally, probably all of the animals...! A buffalo? Yep! You've learned most of them from your books, which you love to read. Horses, giraffes and monkeys are probably you're favorite. You take your stuffed penguin, Wink, with you everywhere and have recently adopted a stuffed giraffe to your little party of three (blankey, too, of course. Oh, and Wink has his own blankey he has to sleep with. Maybe a little overboard but it's just so sweet!).

You love to color, brush your teeth, help make the bed (and them jump on it), help with the laundry, drum, play dad's guitar with him, play cook, build towers, play hide-n-go-seek and toss, catch, kick and bump balls. You've recently taking up to lining up your blocks or rings or the magnets on the fridge, something I think you got from me ;) You also love to climb on our tall dining room chairs, on top of the breakfast nook in our kitchen (and then play with the coffee pot!), on the toilet and on the arms of the couch. You are asking for it, mister! You're constantly getting into our nightstand drawers and either going through my bible or trying to plug in dad's helicopter battery (!!!). You're more good than bad, though ;)

You are an incredibly picky eater, another thing you got from me. If I ask you want you want to eat, any time of the day, you will reply "cheeeeeese". It's your favorite! White string cheese only, but not the strings. I told you, picky. You love bagels, but not bread or tortillas. You love yogurt, but only with blueberries and granola. Blueberries are the extent of your fruit intake. You'll only eat crackers when we're out and about. You prefer daddy's cereal over your own. I think meal time is where all my frustration and exhaustion come from. I so wish you would eat more and eat healthier, but 30 pounds doesn't exactly suggest malnourishment ;)

Basically, your dad and I think you're pretty great. We are so excited to give you a sibling play with and who can learn from you, because if I'm being honest, I think you're the smartest almost two year old I've ever met. We are both so proud of you and love showing you off to our family and friends. We are truly honored you are ours. Blessed beyond measure, too. We love you, Uriah!

eighteen.

How far along are you?: 18 weeks, 1 day

Baby is: the size of a sweet potato - 5.5 inches and 5 ounces

Obsessing over: double strollers. Why are there so many and why are all my favorites so far from my price range!?

Favorite moment this week: feeling kicks - definite kicks! It's so surreal. I forgot how weird and wonderful it was! Nothing big enough to feel from the outside, yet, but throughout the day, usually when I'm sitting, I can feel those sweet little kicks and every time it makes me stop and smile and wait for more. 

Feeling: SO MUCH BETTER! Second trimester energy? It's about damn time you showed up! I stopped getting sick a couple weeks ago, but I still have been getting bogged down so easily. I know that will come and go, but I can make it through the day without falling asleep on Uriah's bedroom floor (yes, it's happened multiple times since August) and stay awake in bed long enough to kiss my husband goodnight. I am loving it! 

Working on: loving the bump. I was so excited when it showed up but pregnancy round two is harder than I thought it would be, body image wise. I figured the first time around I would be self conscious about my changing body but the second time would be easier because, you know, been there done that. I don't know what it is... But maybe the bigger it gets, the more pregnant I look, the easier it'll get...? 

Thinking about: our timeline. The other day I mentioned how Uriah will be 2 years and 2 months when the baby is born, and then I realized that he'll be 2 in just 3 months... TWO in three months?! And then I started thinking about how 3 months really isn't that long and how fast that will go by with all that we have going on this winter and then it just snowballed from there... If Uriah is going to be 2 years and 2 months when the baby is born, and Uriah turns 2 in 3 months, that means the baby is coming in 5... 5 months! I had a mini panic attack sitting on the couch after dinner thinking all this through. I guess I just kept thinking "the baby is coming in April", "the baby is due in the spring" and 'spring' and 'April' seemed so far away. I never actually counted it out and said it out loud...! The baby is coming, guys! And I know April is sorta still far away, but our schedule is CRAZY between now and then and I know it's just going to fly... 

Anticipating: next weeks doctors appointment! You guys...! Boy or girl? I don't know what I'm hoping to see more on the screen, honestly. In the one dream I've had revealing baby's gender it was a girl, and the one gender dream I had while pregnant with Uriah was accurate so...?! We shall see! 

Currently craving: flavored lemonade, turkey sandwiches for lunch, fruit, cereal, baked goodies, you know, all the contents of my kitchen. 

Wishing: to get a better grasp on that timeline mentioned above. I do not want to wish these days away. I so badly want this little baby to be here, but I need time to prepare - prepare myself and Uriah and our family. I need time to be with my husband before he starts residency and I need time to be with my first born before he feels he has to compete for my attention. I so often jump to the next thing, I'm all about what comes next, but I am wishing and praying and hoping that contentment fills my heart these next five months and I am just able to BE. 

What are you most looking forward to?: watching Uriah discover that the baby in my belly is an actual baby. I know he probably won't care for the baby for awhile, especially when it's stealing all mom's attention, but Stephen and I were playing with Uriah the other night and we both got really excited about the idea of giving him a sibling. Not that we don't love to play with him, or love that he wants us to play with him, but I'm sure he'll think a little brother or sister makes a much better playmate (when they're old enough to actually play). It just made me realize that we're not just having a baby, we're having another baby. This doesn't just affect the two of us, it affects Uriah. We're giving him a sibling! 

our weekend

We had ourselves a busy Saturday! Which lead to a very tired pregnant lady post church on Sunday, but it was worth it :) The WWAMI department provided all the Boise track students and their families passes to The Farmstead - a pumpkin patch in town. It was really crazy generous of them because tickets start at, like, $18 a person and we were granted access to lots of the "extras". We decided to go with our friends, the Heads, before the rest of the group so we could assure a normal lunch and nap time, and even though it was a little chillier than we bargained for, it was a blast! I love watching Uriah and Natalie interact together - Natalie can't go more than a few yards before Uriah starts yelling, "Nat Nat!" wondering where she went. Those two could have spent hours feeding the animals and playing in the corn box. I love getting to play with Natalie, too, though. Stephen and I met Natalie the day she was born and have been so blessed to watch her grow up. We sorta love her parents, too! Thinking about graduation and moving away for residency makes me so proud and excited, but I also dread saying goodbye to these sweet friends of ours... I guess we just have to hang out a lot before that happens, right?!

After lunch and nap, we headed to our church's Harvest Party - a fall/Halloween themed get together out in Eagle on this beautiful horse ranch. They had a bunch of games and prizes for the kids, a dunk tank for our lucky pastor, dinner and a chili cook off (which I entered! ...and didn't win) We love our church community and it was fun to see so many of them outside of church!

Stephen took Uriah to the pool that evening and "had the most fun they've ever had" (paraphrased, but close). We went to church like usually the following morning and got to enjoy an early lunch with some friends at our favorite bagel shop after. The rest of the day was spent lounging, watching movies, running errands and playing outside.

I so cherish these study free, work free weekends with Stephen because I know next year they will be few and far between. Thanks for the perfect weather and the beautiful trees, Boise, and thanks for the company, friends. Looking forward to this Halloween week, now!

Vegas, baby!

So, I went to Vegas...! My sister found out about the Rise Festival through Weslie Christensen and her blog, Love Chugs. I'm pretty sure it was the very next day that my mom bought tickets. The two of them had heard about these lantern festivals while they were in Thailand and have been wanting to go to one ever since - it was high up on their bucket lists! And, lucky for me, they decided I could come, too. (Unlike that time they went to Thailand without me...) Once the tickets were bought, we decided to make a weekend out of it! Ashley and I had never been to Vegas and since the festival was being held just thirty minutes out of town, what better place to stay?!

We flew out Thursday morning and met my mom's best friend, Cindy, who flew in from Portland, a few hours later. We stayed at Planet Hollywood in 'The Rock' movie themed room. Have you guys ever seen that movie? Me either, but apparently they use a babydoll with a bomb attached to it at some point during the movie and that babydoll was one of the props from the movie that was in our room. A babydoll... Hanging on our wall... It was the creepiest thing to walk in and see! A babydoll with a bomb attached to it! It was honestly a little upsetting because Ashley and I were already missing our babies like crazy and we contemplated switching rooms before we decided that would make us look like sissy little girls (which we are) so we decided to tough it out and stick Cindy closest to the baby. (Sorry, Cindy!) That night we grabbed dinner at a pizza place outside our hotel on the strip and walked around for the next few hours, stopping to watch the Bellagio fountain and grab room treats from the market.

Friday morning we spent pool side, which there is no evidence of because being 16 weeks pregnant in a bikini in Vegas was not my idea of a picture worthy event. Truthfully, it was slightly awful. But, the warmth did feel nice. It may still be sunny here, but it's not warm! We spent that afternoon walking more of the strip (stopping to take pictures with the characters on the street because we're total tourists - I'm pretty sure Harper thought the Despicable Me minion and Olaf were staying in our hotel with us). We had dinner at PF Changs that night and then caught a cab to the MGM Grand where the Hakkasan night club is. Ashley's husband's cousin's sister's friend (or something like that) got us a hook up to the club, so instead of paying $30 a person we each got in free and were offered a free drink. Mine was a bottle of water... It was hard being pregnant when the people I was with (and everyone else!) was not nearly as sober as I was. I felt unbelievably out of place, pregnant in Vegas at a night club, but was determined to make the most of it and I actually had a lot of fun! We did a lot of dancing with a potentially gay group of guys in plaid flannel shirts and a lone member of a bachelorette party group wearing a pink wig. The club hosts Calvin Harris and Tiesto as their main DJs, which are two of Stephen's favorites, so I made sure to jump up and down and wave my arms in his honor ;) We didn't make it too late, I think we were back in the room by 1am, but for a pregnant lady wearing heels that's normally in bed by ten, I'm going to go ahead and count it as a win.

We slept in incredibly late on Saturday morning (at least in my book, because I haven't slept in past 7:30 since Uriah was born, and that has only been recently!) and had just enough time for lounging, getting ready and getting in the car to catch our shuttle to the Rise Festival. Our shuttle was meeting at a casino in Jean, Nevada, about twenty minutes away, and we knew there'd be lines, plus we wanted to get to the event fairly early - we didn't want to miss anything! The shuttle took us another twenty minutes out into the desert and dropped us off 500 yards or so away from the event site. The walk in was stunning - the sunset was incredible! Honestly, it was like they planned it - too perfect! Once you arrived at the event site, you could find your section and pick your seat next to a tiki torch. Each person got a yoga mat (to take home) and two lanterns. During the next hour, as people were filtering in, people were passing out matches, pens and notecards (so you could write your words on something to take home with you). They had delicious food and great music. One of the guys involved in the project gave a short speech about it all and introduced the band who played for the next hour as the guests opened up their lanterns and began to write their wishes, hopes, dreams, prayers... It was so fun to watch everyone else, as excited as we were, open their lanterns and get to work on writing and decorating them. It was such a neat environment - everyone was there for a different reason, but we were all there together. Everyone just seemed happy and uplifted and calm and it really made you feel at peace. Is that weird? I guess it's just one of those things you have to experience for yourself. When the band was done, they instructed us all on how to light the tiki torch and the lanterns. They were bigger than I thought, taller, and it took at least two or three people to light them and then at least two minutes for them to fill with hot hair. The first rise was in unison, so the crowd all waited as everyone's lanterns filled with hot air. And then... RiSE. You guys, it was amazing. More than amazing! Incredible, beautiful, overwhelming, powerful... All the words and none of the words at the same time. Going into this event, I was expecting it to be pretty and cool and a fun night, but I wasn't expecting anything like it was. You couldn't help but cry. Everyone was clapping and screaming and sighing and crying... It was crazy! So crazy beautiful and so crazy wonderful. For the next hour everyone continued to light their lanterns and set them off at their own pace - the sky was continually filled with lanterns and the tears and smiles and hugs and awe kept coming. It was so great to share that experience with my mom and sister, but I so wish Stephen could have been there. Though he doesn't believe me that it was so incredibly powerful (just like I was skeptical going in) I know he would love it - it's such an intimate thing to witness and be apart of. Uriah has been requesting to watch the videos of it on my phone, so I know he would like it, too :)

Leaving the event awhile later was a huge disaster and it was a long and frustrating and somewhat comical night, but as awful as it was, it doesn't deserve to be mentioned because honestly, nothing could take away from the event. Read about the festival, look at the #risefestival hashtag on Instagram, fall in love with the idea and GO! You will not regret it.

sixteen weeks

^^ a grainy iPhone picture while my little one plays with worms on the sidewalk ^^

How far along are you?: 16 weeks, 0 days. It's kinda fun that my weeks fall on a Wednesday - gives me a little hump day pick me up! 

Baby is: the size of an avocado, yum! 

Obsessing over: baby things! Which isn't entirely unusual ;) Now that I'm in my second trimester, I'm starting to get more and more excited and am starting to notice baby clothes and toys and necessities more often. Like the newborn section at Gap? It all almost made me cry. And thinking about rearranging the bedroom so I can fit baby's bed next to mine? Well it makes me want to set it up today. 

Favorite moment this week: hearing baby's heartbeat on Monday. Swoon! Isn't that just the best?! As each appointment nears, I start to get nervous that maybe everything won't be ok. That 156 heart rate was such a good reassurance! 

Feeling: extremely nervous and uneasy about leaving Uriah for four days. FOUR DAYS! It helps a little that I get to take this one along with me, though :)

Working on: to-do lists. A little prematurely, I'll admit, but baby is coming right after and right before some pretty big stuff for our little family, so I'm trying to be as prepared as possible. 

Thinking about: having a two year old AND a newborn. Somedays I feel totally prepared and ready and excited and somedays it truthfully scares the shit out of me. Both feelings are directly related to Uriah's mood and behavior that day ;) 

Anticipating: my next doctor's appointment - the anatomy ultrasound! The date has officially been set - November 5th! I am, of course, all sorts of excited to find out what we're having, but also excited just to see baby and know that everything is as it should be. 

Currently craving: Honey Nut Cherrios, still, though I'm trying to make sure I only eat one (ok no more than two) bowls a day. A cold, crisp apple and Qdoba have been hitting the spot, too, which are things I craved when I was pregnant with Uriah, too! 

Wishing: I knew the day this baby would arrive. Which takes a lot of the magic out of it, I know, but if it arrives when Uriah did, I would already be half way...!? Or if it arrives ten days early, it would be on match day! Or two days early, it would be on Stephen's birthday! Or it could be on my sitter's birthday, or, or or...! 

What are you most looking forward to?: baby kicks. I might have felt baby move for the first time last night, but this early on it's still hard to tell for sure. But laying there so quiet and still waiting for the feeling again, I remembered feeling Uriah inside me and being able to watch him roll around and how crazy, wonderful, weird, and magical it was and I am so excited to be able to experience that again. So excited and oh so blessed... 

taking stock 008

Making: lists. I know we have a long time before baby number two makes its appearance, but with crazy interview season right around the corner and then four weeks in Seattle and then graduation and moving just months after its arrival, I've officially started my "before baby gets here" list. Maybe a little crazy but mostly just excited! 

Cooking: baking. I have three apples left and Stephen has requested another loaf of apple bread! 

Drinking: chocolate milk (with cookie pieces at the bottom, of course). 

Reading: texts from my sister and mom. Our constant group text is such a happy part of my day! 

Wanting: my husband to come home! Even though he's getting home at five or six (I know, I should be so thankful for that - we've dealt with actual late hours before and we have lots more to come in residency) but his last rotation was much more lax and I'm finding the adjustment hard. 

Looking: for Uriah shoes. He's down to one pair and they're not going to fit for much longer! Taking any and all suggestions for brands and/or stores! 

Playing: hide and go seek. It's one of Uriah's favorites and mine, too! I love the look and squeal I get when he finds me (even if I always hide in the same three spots).

Wasting: time. 

Wishing: I knew the gender of this baby. It won't be much longer before we can find out, a month or so, but I am just so anxious. And completely torn between what I am hoping to see on the ultrasound. 

Enjoying: the fact that Freshly Picked commented on my Instagram picture. Is that totally dumb?! Oh well, I got a little twitter pated when I read it, anyway...!

Waiting: for my appointment on Monday. I get so nervous as they approach - it never occurs to me that anything could be wrong until I'm about to find out if it is. 

Liking: all the little "bebe" pumpkins around the house (as Uriah calls them). I've always seen them pop up on Pinterest and Instagram around this time of year and I've just never gone to the store to buy some for myself. But! This year I have one on top of every stack of books, in all different colors, and they make me so happy! Even if it is still 80 degrees out in the afternoon, it looks like fall in here :) 

Wondering: where God's plan will take us. Literally and figuratively. I feel like there is a lot up in the air right now and I'm so excited to see where it all falls. 

Loving: my growing bump! Though I'm not looking forward to getting in a bikini or trying to look cute in Vegas (because maternity pants don't really scream "night club"), I like staring at it in the mirror throughout the day. 

Hoping: I will survive Vegas without my baby boy. Four days, four whole days... I'm sorta dreading it already. 

Marveling: at my husband! The interview offers are really starting to roll in and, while I'm not surprised!, I am just so excited and proud! 

Needing: Uriah to take a long nap. Ok, that should really be "wanting", but he cut his nap short yesterday and it made for a very long afternoon and I am not interested in repeating it. 

Smelling: the dirty dishes. You guys, I hate doing dishes. 

Wearing: one of my favorite shirts/sweatshirts. And it's white, go figure ;)

Following: along with giveaways. My chances are next to none but someone's gotta win, right?!

Noticing: an interest in Jesus. Something has really started to spur my relationship with Him, and while all my advancements in my faith seem to be slow, I think this is going to be a good one. 

Knowing: it's going to be totally crazy and hard but so exciting and worth it. 

Thinking: I should probably take a shower. Or do the dishes. Or vacuum. Or sweep. Or anything other than watch Friends and write this blog post. 

Feeling: a little overwhelmed. 

Bookmarking: shirts for Uriah. He's got some dividend money to spend and he needs some new tops (and shoes, too, yes) but it's so hard to choose! 

Opening: junk mail. How do we get so much junk mail?!

Giggling: over Princess Fiona. But it was more like a "bahhhaha" instead of a cute little giggle. 

Feeling: blessed. 

14 weeks

How far along are you? 14 weeks, 2 day

Baby is: the size of a lemon! About 3 inches, 1.5 ounces. With the exception of the intestines (which are still making their way to baby from the umbilical cord) everything is in place! Now grow, baby grow!

Obsessing over: the bump! It was around 14 weeks pregnant with Uriah that I started noticing a bump, but it wasn't until around 22 weeks that the public would be able to guess. This time around, though, at 14 weeks the bump is out and the maternity pants are on! (Which seems a little early and excessive, but all my pants are from Gap with little stretch and a higher waistband, which normally I love!, but trying to sit comfortably in those pants these days is just not worth it) The bump is small, but it's there and I love it!

Favorite moment this week: yesterday morning. It was a good morning with Uriah - he slept in a little and didn't want to run downstairs to eat right away, so we snuggled and read books and took our time getting downstairs where the heat was on and most of the lights were still off and we were eating our breakfast together listening to music... It was the first time I think I could actually picture having two. Uriah in his highchair and a baby in the rocker... I know mornings with two will 9 times out of 10 be absolutely nothing like that, but I could actually see it and feel it and it just made me so ready.

Feeling: tired, per usual, and hungry. I swear, during the hours of 10 am to 3 pm I could eat anything and everything and most days I do.

Working on: names. We've had a girl name lined up since we were first married, long before Stephen was ever ready to have kids ;) but the boy names have been harder this time around. We already used our favorite boy name! Suggestions?!

Thinking about: boy? Girl? Boy? Girl?

Anticipating: my next doctor's appointment. There's not ultrasound scheduled, but I'm so anxious to hear that little heart beat again and be reassured that everything is as it should be.

Currently craving: cereal. I could eat it all day! Which isn't exactly unusual, because I could always eat cereal all day, but it didn't settle well with me for the first 10 weeks, so now that my stomach can handle it again I've been going through boxes fast!

Wishing: that this second trimester brings more energy! While I'm starting to feel so much better, I'm still getting really bogged down come 4 or 5 o'clock and I'd gladly take back my evenings with my boys!

What are you most looking forward to?: these last few months as a family of three. As excited as I am that baby number two is on it's way, that does mean the end of just us and it's a very bitter sweet deal. I am really looking forward to seeing Uriah as a big brother, but I'll gladly keep him as my baby until then.