Wednesday, May 22, 2019

positive

March 19, 2019

I had told Stephen I would take a test on March 16th. I could be exactly three weeks pregnant, and while it would be early, it was the equivalent to when I tested positive with both Ezra and Judah - exactly three weeks.

While I had experienced a few early pregnancy symptoms that week, there wasn't anything too consistent or extreme that pointed directly at pregnancy. I had gotten lightheaded a few more times than normal (like I did with Ezra in the first few weeks), maybe I had been peeing more frequently (like I had with Uriah) and I was certainly bloated and cramping (but maybe I was just due to start my period soon). Despite the fact that I tried to convince myself I wasn't pregnant, I just felt like I was. And I was sorta in disbelief about it! There was just no way it would happen so quickly! I had gotten my IUD taken out on February 7th and it had taken me two weeks to get a period back, so this would have been our first shot. Surely, even despite my past fertile history, even despite the fact that I felt pregnant, surely it would take at least two months...

Stephen told me I could pee on as many sticks as I wanted (is anyone else addicted to this?!) as long as he was there. I found out I was pregnant with all three kiddos while Stephen was gone at work and about five minutes after I told him about Judah he made me promise that he could be there for the next one! So, convinced I was pregnant, but also aware it might be too early, I peed on a stick the morning of March 16th. I wasn't supposed to look at it first, but I could tell it was negative even without my glasses on. I passed it to Stephen and sure enough, negative.

I texted him after he left for work and said, "I still think I'm pregnant".

- - - - - - - - - -

I patiently waited through Sunday and Monday before deciding to test again. It was now two days before my expected period (roughly - I hadn't even had a full cycle since getting my birth control removed, I had no idea how long my cycles would be!) Stephen said to me first thing on Tuesday morning, "Pee on a stick!" I tried convincing him I wasn't pregnant. I claimed I was 100% sure of it. There was no way it would really happen at our first try! I think I was so scared I was wrong and that it would be negative, I didn't want to even take the test. I didn't want to deal with the disappointment. Even though I really wanted to take the test...!

I turned it upside down while I got myself cleaned up, because I promised Stephen we could look at it together, but I have no self control, so I took a peek at it as I handed it to Stephen on the bed and said, "Told you, it's negative" It certainly looked like it! He took it and looked at it quietly for a second before saying, "No it's not. It's positive! There's a faint line there! It's positive!" I snatched it out of his hand and tried my turn at staring at it - maybe. But no. "That's negative" We passed it back and forth, Stephen convinced there was a faint line, me trying not to get my hopes up. On my second turn with the stick I held it to the light and just started to nervous giggle. "Are you serious?!" I believe my next words were swear words as I threw it on the bed and starting crying, covering my face and burying it into Stephen. "Are you sure?!" We kept staring at that faint vertical line getting darker and darker. "Oh my gosh! We're going to have four kids!" We were both laughing through watery eyes. "Is this really happening?!"

We sat there in our bed for the next 20 minutes laughing, crying, staring at the stick and each other... Even though I felt pregnant, I just couldn't believe it. Honestly, I'm typing this 3 days later and I still can't believe it!

Four kids. Four kids! FOUR kids! Are we crazy?! Maybe. But oh we are so happy and excited!

Baby Wall, you have been talked about for years! And now you're on your way! I just can't believe it... Our baby! You have been prayed for and prayed over. You are wanted and you are loved!


To read the story of how we found out about Uriah, click here. For Ezra, click here. And for Judah, click here

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