being "momma"

I tried all last week to write a post for Mother's Day - what it means to me to be "momma". You guys, I got nothin'. Even now, after all my Mother's Day emotions, I'm sitting here drawing a blank. Not because being a mom doesn't mean anything to me, but because it means everything to me. And how do you put that into words? How do I convey to you, to my husband, to Uriah what it truly means to play this role? How do I tell my own mother how much I love and appreciate her? And my mother-in-law, my sisters, my friends...

I get so caught up in the everyday, mundane tasks of this job, I often forget to look at the big picture. I am raising a child. I am responsible for another human being - a life. I am responsible for teaching him right from wrong, how to love, how to be confident, how to communicate, how to be a strong, independent individual... I am responsible for teaching him about Jesus, how to know Him, love Him and live a life for Him. And that's huge. Our job as mothers is huge! And it's not just a job. It's a calling - a gift. And I hope my babies always know just how much I cherish this gift. I hope they know that I thought about, prayed about, and not so patiently waited for them and to be called "momma".

Some days I'm not a very good one. Some days I spend too much time on my phone or not enough time outside. Some days I choose a clean house over a game of chase. Some days I dread when Uriah wakes up from his nap because it means "my time" is over. But on all days I rock him to sleep with tears in my eyes and I watch him play with an enormous and proud smile on my face. On all days I kiss him far too often and ask for endless amounts of hugs. On all days I thank the Lord for my baby boy. I thank Him, too, for the grace this job requires daily. On those "some days" when I am slipping, He lifts me back up. I could not be a mother without my God and I pray that He will help me grow into a better mother, daily. I pray that He will guide me in what and how I teach my son. I pray that He will give me strength and patience and understanding and love. I pray that with Him, I can lead my son to be a man of God. What a heavy weight motherhood is to carry... but it is just as equally an absolute JOY. I am so honored that God made me a mother and gave me Uriah. I am so unbelievably honored... and humbled and appreciative. May I never take one day as "momma" for granted.

I am so very grateful for my husband, who made me a momma, too. I am so grateful that he has supported me through breast feeding and schedule changes and staying at home. I am so grateful he wanted to join me in this parenting adventure and I am so grateful for the grace I receive from him, too. When he comes home and our naked baby is crying and dinner is no where to be found. When I expect him to change diapers and monitor bath time and do the evening round of dishes after a full days worth of work. Thank you, Stephen. From the very depths of my heart, thank you.

To my own mother, whose endless love and support and friendship I would be completely lost without, thank you. To be able to get a glimpse of her love for me through my love for my son... I am convinced I haven't been nearly nice enough to her over the last 24 years. 

To my mother-in-law who raised one hell of a man, my sisters who are teaching my nieces and nephews to be smart, beautiful, confident, talented people, my many second moms, my grandmas, aunts and cousins, my friends and followers... thank you all for being "momma". 

Also, and completely unrelated, what I wore on Mother's Day...

^^ I've easily gotten more compliments on this skirt than any other piece in my wardrobe. Thanks, Ashley, for the Christmas present three years ago! Two thumbs up! ^^