Thursday, May 1, 2014

baby talk

No, I'm not pregnant. But we have started to talk more seriously about baby number two, and with that has come a whole new set of emotions and questions - How will Uriah react to having another baby in the house? Am I ready to give up my one on one time with him? I already worry so much about Uriah, his health and safety and future, can I handle having to worry about another one, too? Will I be able to love the second one as much as I love Uriah? Will I be able to handle two kids, especially in residency where my husband is completely MIA? What if it's twins? What if I can't get pregnant again? Should we start trying right away and have our kids be close in age? Should we wait and start trying later so the next one would be born months after residency starts? Will it be a boy or a girl? What if it's another boy and I never get my little girl? Should we wait until Uriah is older and potty trained?

So many questions! And not one of them I can answer... How did you do it, mommas with more babies? I've been struggling with all the worry and thoughts and unknowns. While it is so exciting and fun to talk about another baby (so exciting!) there is just so much I can't predict. And for those of you who don't know, I'm sorta, a little totally ocd - a perfectionist with a planner. I've been working on relinquishing a lot of my control, both because of my desire to live life more in the present, but also because having a one year old doesn't give you a whole lot of other options. During Uriah's nap the other day, I got out my "Promises" book and flipped to the chapter on worry. The first verse staring back at me was Philippians 4:6-7, a verse I memorized in college and have highlighted in my Bible with arrows pointing all around it because of its importance and constant relevance in my life:

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which surpasses all understanding. His peace will guard your heart and mind as you live in Christ Jesus."  

It's so simple. PRAY. Give my worries to God because He is willing to carry my burden. And just like that, peace. Peace in knowing that God knows what is to come and that He loves us and will provide. God's timing is always different from ours, but it is always worth waiting for.

P.s. Thanks, Ashley, for this perfect little blue dress! I think we really should wear ours on the same day ...Because mom probably didn't dress us alike enough when we were kids. 

No comments :

Post a Comment