Judah Budah turns TWO!

Judah Budah is our little ray of sunshine. With his flowing yellow locks and his sweetest soul, he is such a bright spot in our lives. I sing him "You Are My Sunshine" every night before bed, I have since he was a baby - he truly is my sunshine - a ray of joy and warmth and hope.

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At two years old Judah is wearing size 6 diapers, size 2-3T clothes and size 7 shoe. He is nearing 35 pounds and stands 3 feet tall. His hair has never been cut, his teeth have a perfectly adorable gap and his eyes are the most beautiful shade of blue.

At two years old Judah loves... Airplanes! Ok, more like Judah is obsessed with airplanes! For the longest time they were called "vrr dows" (because airplanes say "vrrr" and go down, obviously! ha!) and he couldn't talk about them without hand motions. They are now called "airpanes" and I shed a tear the day their named switched! Watching your kids grow up is so bitter sweet... Judah also loves water - bath time and running through the sprinkler and two Judah approved ways to pass the time! He is momma's boy and will always request I put him down for naps and bed. He loves sunglasses, toy cars, bubbles and babies (wouldn't be caught without his baby doll for awhile there! He stole it from Ezra who has never given baby dolls the time of day and Stephen made me cut off the pink bow ;) He loves animals, particularly, birds (which are still called "ba da ba da ba deeees" and you better believe I'll cry the day that name changes, too!) kitties, dogs, horses and "buggies". Judah loves to play with Ezra, jump on the trampoline with dad (do anything with dad!) and the color yellow. He favors the slides and swings at the park and is ridiculously good at riding his scooter! He loves being outside or anywhere Uriah and Ezra are. A close second to airplanes and animals would be books - Judah loves books! I'm so impressed with his attention span for sitting and reading. I especially love when I find him thumbing through the pages on his own! Judah also loves fruit and cookies ;)

Judah does not like sitting in the shopping cart for longer than 20 minutes, eating vegetables and meat, getting left out of a Uriah and Ezra game and coming when asked to come.

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It is so hard to put into words who Judah actually is. Living life with this sweet boy has just been a dream and I wish so badly to both bottle him up to keep him this age forever and to move on to the next age and stage to see what it brings and experience its joys. Judah has been such an "easy" baby and toddler and found his place in our family so effortlessly. It is so hard to imagine who we'd be as a family without our little Judah Budah, and I am eternally grateful we don't have to.

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I have loved every day of these past two years with you, sweet boy. Even the hard, challenging ones (with you, there haven't been many!) You really do make me smile when skies are gray, baby boy - always.
Watching you grow and learn has been such an honor - you are so big and smart! You are all things good and wonderful and beautiful and joyful, Judah, and I love you, I love you, I love you!

about the last nine months...

My baby is now four weeks old and I am writing my second pregnancy blog post... Something's not right here. 

I very quickly got very behind on this blog, but wanted these memories preserved to look back on, as I've loved doing with my other pregnancies. 

Weeks 13-22 were my sweet spot with this pregnancy. I was over the sickness, over the bleeding but still not in pain. I was tired, but I was pregnant with three kids so that didn't change the entire pregnancy ;) Around that 23rd week mark, though, the pain started. First in my sciatic, and then in my pelvis. All typical and normal pregnancy pains, but ones I wasn't expecting to feel so early on. I remember dealing with SPD symptoms with Judah, but not until about week 32 - I couldn't imagine dealing with these symptoms for 17 weeks...?! 

The pain slowly got worse, week by week. It hurt to sit for too long, stand for too long. It hurt to get dressed, get out of the car, move in bed, sit down, stand up, carry heavy loads, push a cart or stroller, walk, climb stairs... everything I did caused pain - sharp shooting pains. It was debilitating. I often started and ended my day in tears. Some days were better than others, and eventually I learned what I could and could not do and became better at managing and expecting it, but the pain was still there, always. 

I remember saying to Stephen on more than one occasion, that this babe had to be our last because I couldn't physically do it again. Knowing that each pregnancy has been harder on my body, I couldn't imagine what another one would be like. I was miserable most of the time and felt incapable of making it to the end of the pregnancy (let alone the end of the day!) While we had been saying from the beginning "fourth and final", I didn't like my body making that choice for me - I wanted to make that decision because it felt right, complete, not because my body physically wasn't up to the challenge (and at 29...what a joke!) 

Around week 32 it finally eased up. Well, maybe it didn't ease up, but it stopped progressing and I had gotten used to it at that point, so things became much more manageable. Praise God! 

Not that time ever speeds for me while I'm pregnant, but hitting that 32 week mark and finally feeling some relief from the pain was like slamming on the brakes. I didn't have the pain to focus on, just the days on the calendar to count down. Our friends at church started to have their babies (I was the fifth and last one due in the lineup) and seeing them welcome their new little ones made me all the more excited for my own and envious that they were already at the finish line. 

Around 36 weeks I experienced a day of odd fetal movement. I say odd because he was still moving, but everything about it felt different. He was moving slower and less and with no other way to describe it, it just felt different. I let it go on for a day and a half before I finally gave in to Stephen's suggestions to call and/or go in. After 20 minutes on the monitor we knew all was well - his heart rate was normal and there was nothing consistent to my contractions. Before they let me go they did a standard ultrasound to check fluid levels and during, they discovered mine were low - the culprit to his movements feeling different. This lead to a week and a half of more monitoring, as I had to have three good fluid level readings before they would deem all was well and let me stop coming in. And, all was well. In the end, though my fluid levels were on the verge of low, I think the problem with getting a good reading on the ultrasound was from my long umbilical cord - every time they thought they found a good pocket of fluid to measure, it ended up being covered by the cord and they couldn't see anything else. By that time I had reached 37 weeks and there was no harm in him being born too early, so I continued to pay attention to his movements, but started to trust that he was in fact healthy and would let me know when he was ready to come :) 

Overall, this pregnancy was physically my hardest, and I don't think I'll soon forget it. The end result is worth it, 100 times over, but the last nine months definitely took their toll. Positive things I'll always remember from my fourth (and final?!) pregnancy though, are first and foremost his crazy movements. Like, crazy! I've never had a baby in utero move so much or so wildly! Always showing off on my left side, and always from 6-7am and 9-10pm - he liked waking up and going to bed with me ;) I'll never forget Judah calling him "baby Amy", patting my boob asking "baby?" (thinking I was having triplets?!) or pulling up his own shirt to show me his baby. Watching the big kids grow in excitement as my belly did was also a favorite part of this pregnancy. Having two older kids who understood what was going on was a lot of fun! Knowing this pregnancy was going to be my last made it exceptionally bitter sweet. I wanted so badly for it to be perfect, all of it - go out on a high note, I guess. I wanted to cherish it and relish it and experience the true wonder and beauty of it all, because maybe I wouldn't be doing it again... It was hard to do so while in so much pain, and I felt sad that I wasn't enjoying it as much as I wanted to. I also felt guilty for complaining so much about a pregnancy I know others would give anything for... Lots of mixed emotions to say the least, but even if I didn't enjoy every moment of it, I was more aware of the gift I was being given. Knowing this was the last time I got to do this didn't make it easy, but it made is sweet, and I'm just so thankful.  

November

^^ Another Wednesday at the river with our Wild + Free gang! Getting dirty and loving every minute of it! ^^

^^ On the verge of TWO! Snuggles with these boys are the very best ^^

^^ Judah turned TWO! Which deserves a post all it's own but in brief, we took doughnuts and bubbles to the park in the morning with friends and did presents and cake in the evening at home as a family. He is loved, our little sunshine boy, and it was such a joy to celebrate him! ^^

^^ A Sunday at church with all five of us! ...For the time being! ^^

^^ A horrible day for our sweet two year old. After 3 shots and a finger prick (plus flu shots for the bigs) he needed a blood draw to check his iron levels. It was awful and sad and I felt terrible! Thankfully, all is well and he is healthy! But man it was a rough day! ^^

^^ I wish this was our kitten! Our neighbors have a plethora of cats that keep reproducing and they love to venture into our backyard. This little guy and his brother got stuck on our side of the fence and I happily performed a rescue mission! They are so stinking cute and the kids were in love! ^^

^^ "I see daddy at work!" One of Judah's favorite things to do :) ^^

^^ Ezra upgraded to a big girl carseat in the back row to make room for baby brother and they were all pretty excited about the new arrangement! ^^

^^ Snuggles in mom's bed - our usual after nap time routine ^^

^^ Another Wednesday out exploring! He caught a lizard, saw a scorpion, wild turkey, jack rabbit and coyote, so obviously is was a successful outing! ;) ^^

^^ Afternoon walks around the neighborhood trying to walk baby brother out! (and enjoying the weather before the rain hit!) ^^

^^ A Friday with baby boy ^^

^^ Friendsgiving on a Saturday with these beautiful families. They have been such a blessing to us this year and it was a joy to celebrate with them, giving thanks for their friendship! ^^

^^ A Sunday morning with my crew ^^

^^ My parents came to town! They planned to be around for a week before baby's tentative arrival date and I felt so much peace when they pulled up to my house - baby could finally come! For a week they helped me prepare, played with my kids and kept me company. ^^

^^ Zoo day! ^^

^^ A brief but wonderful visit from some Alaskan cousins! Uncle Aaron is working outside of Reno right now and the family was down visiting, so they made the drive to come see us for the day! We are very grateful they made the effort, as my kids loved spending time with their cousins! We met uncle Stephen at work for lunch, played at the park, and had dinner all together at home before they took off. So random, and so fun! ^^

^^ Pre-baby girls date to Starbucks ("the cookie store") and Old Navy - coffee, cookies and clothes, the perfect girl time date! Love this little sugar bean ^^