Monday, March 4, 2013


I have a one month old. What?! ...I can't believe I have a one month old! The time has passed far too quickly, though I feel like he's always been here, always been ours. And I guess in a way he has... He is beautiful and perfect and such a joy to have in our lives. Stephen and I are so enamored and happy! He has made the perfect addition to our little family :)

Uriah weighs 9 pounds, 1 ounce - exactly 2 pounds up from his birth weight!
He is 20 1/4 inches tall, almost one inch longer!
He eats every two hours (like clock work), day and night, with the exception of one three hour stretch in the late afternoon (around 3-6) and one four hour stretch in the evening (around 9-1am).
He has reflux and spits up all. the. time. He's on medication for it now, so cross your fingers it helps! Poor little guy - hate to see him in pain!
He loves to lay on flat surfaces like the floor and his changing table, but he refuses to sleep on them, like his crib. We have a bassinet/rocker that keeps him at a 45 degree angle and folds up on the sides that he loves to sleep in. I think it makes him feel held. (Thank you mom and dad for the best baby shower present, ever!)
He loves to sleep in bed with mom and dad, too, and does quite often :)
He might be the only person I know that enjoys my singing. 'Amazing Grace' is his favorite song.
He is making the slow and awkward transition to 0-3 month size clothes. None of them fit him in the middle, but his feet reach the end of all his sleepers! His newborn size clothes are starting to stretch in length and it makes me so sad! He's getting too big too fast!
He's still in newborn size diapers, but we'll probably be making the transition to size 1 once our current stock is out ;)
He has thee strongest neck! He is always lifting it up or away, stretching it as far as he can. We call it his 'turtle face' because he's got such a double chin going on normally, his neck looks so skinny when he's actually using it! Little old man-ish ;)
He's starting to learn the difference between day and night! He goes right to sleep after his night time feedings; I'm usually only up with him for half an hour. And he stays awake between two feedings during the day, usually from 1-3 and then 6-8.
When he is awake, he loves to kick, kick, kick! He babbles and grunts all the time, searches for everything with his big eyes, and desperately tries rolling over! Yes, already!
He is starting to smile more and more and it sure makes him all the more handsome! It's still mostly in his sleep or when he relieves himself of some gas bubbles ;) But I sure do love it!

I'm a mom. ...Weird! And wonderful! :) It has been an adjustment, certainly, but an amazing one. People tell you what being a mom is like and you read books to learn all you can, but nothing, nothing can prepare you.
When my mom was here, she asked me if it was all that I thought it would be, being a mom. I said yes, and no. It is so much harder than I ever thought it would be, but at the same time, so much easier. I didn't know how to explain it but I didn't have to, she understood. And maybe only moms will understand...
The hardest adjustment? Realizing that he's always around. Obviously, right? I knew that going into this! But I guess I just didn't think about it... He's always there. Always with me. This job is constant. And this isn't a complaint... Just an odd realization. I'm never alone. Which, when you think about it that way, is kind of nice :)
Feeling like you've failed or are a bad mom or wife is a daily routine. Which is hard to accept. It's been a month, but I'm still not used to it...failing. I'm a perfectionist, and all I've ever wanted to do is be a stay-at-home mom. Happy baby, clean home, food on the table at six, a smile on my face when my husband walks through the door... That's what I wanted and honestly, what I pictured. Not the case. Some days it's just one thing, some days it's everything. (This must be the part that is harder than I thought it would be) It's all worth it when he's babbling in bed between Stephen and I, our little family, and Stephen has been so great and forgiving... But accepting my fails and forgiving myself has been a big and hard change this past month.
He's getting better and better about sleeping during the night, so I'm getting plenty of sleep! Ok, at least enough sleep ;)
I don't have a scale so I don't know how much weight I've lost but I'm back in my size 2s! The hips are a little tighter because mine are a little larger, but it's only been 4 weeks so that could still change. While my stomach doesn't quite look the same, it feels so nice to be back in my old clothes and looking a little more like myself. Most people say to wait 6 weeks before starting a work out routine again (not that I ever had one, nor will I mostly likely start ;) but me and some other moms go walking three times a week together, and Stephen and I try and get out on nice days for study breaks (Uriah loves his carrier!)

I should have Stephen be writing this part, and maybe I'll get him to write a post about being a dad soon, but right now he's in school so I'll be writing on his behalf.
He loves his son! And I love watching him love his son! I know he can't wait until Uriah is saying "dada" and then thinking he's superman (Stephen would prefer Iron man ;) and tossing a ball around together... He is truly enjoying being a dad to his little boy :)
I think it's been hard for Stephen to share me. And it's been hard for me to feel torn between my two boys. Stephen and I only get so much time together and we're both used to it being just us in those few rare hours. Not that either of us wish Uriah wasn't here to share in that time, but a couple days will go buy where I don't get to talk to my husband or snuggle him because in the one hour before bed that he's not studying, Uriah is eating or crying. We miss each other, Stephen and I.
I think it's hard for Stephen, too, to be gone all day. I know most dads work a 9 to 5 but try a 6 to 6 and then studying from 7 to 9. He doesn't get a lot of time with Uriah and some of that time is spent calming a fussy baby or changing a messy diaper... It's not always ideal. I know he misses Uriah and wants to be around more.
I also know, though, that he's doing a great job of loving the two of us and balancing school and studying and home. I never had any doubts that he wouldn't be good at it :) I know it's challenging and frustrating at times, but he makes such an effort to give his son love and attention and I am so thankful for that! ...For HIM! :)

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