Wednesday, January 20, 2016

it won't always be this way

I wish I could tell him that it won’t always be this way. 

She won't always think you hung the moon. She won't always want to do whatever you're doing, go wherever you go. She won't always look at you with awe and wonder, smile and laugh at every silly little thing you do. She won't always enjoy your singing.

She won't always want to play with your toys or being so willing to share her own. She won't always be this little, little enough for you to hold her or knock her over. 

No one will ever pay this much attention to you - think you’re this cool, this important, this exciting. 

One day she'll turn her cheek to your kisses, fold her arms at your hugs. She'll walk away with her toy, tattle to mom or send a punch right back. She'll roll her eyes at your stories and laugh at your dance moves. 

I wish I could tell you this, as you yell at her, "no!", push her aside or leave her behind. I wish I could make you see and feel her love and desire toward you, to be with you. She's just a baby. And it won't always be this way. 

But then I think maybe I need to know and understand this just as much as you do. 

It won't always be this way. 

You won't always follow me to the bathroom simply because you enjoy my company. You won't always ask so many questions or tell me so many stories. You won't always want to sit in my lap, fit in it, either. You won't always want to hold my hand or ride my back. You won't always fall asleep in my arms or request bedtime songs. You won't always think I'm funny or smart. You won't always cry when I drop you off at church. 

One day you will be embarrassed by my dance moves and public kisses. You'll discover Google and learn that maybe mom's not so smart and you'll stop asking questions. You'll talk more to your friends and shut the door on my face. You'll be too big for my lap. You will jump out the car at school with no need for an escort, without so much as a goodbye. 

I wish I could remember this as I ask you to wait, tell you, "not now". You're just a little boy. And it won't always be this way. 

1 comment :

  1. Are YOU embarrassed by MY dance moves?! Or maybe it comes back around liven in swells, like the ocean... (I love this post. And your heart.)