Sacramento or bust!

I've been avoiding this post for awhile now. It would certainly be easier to skip over it. But easier doesn't always mean good, or better. These people, this chapter in our lives, deserves to be recognized and remembered. Even if the words will never be enough. 

When we moved to Palo Alto, I was miserable. Not a first, but it didn't take long. I felt blindsided by Stephen's new residency schedule: 80, 100, 120 hour weeks. We had no family, no friends, no acquaintances or even connections. Uriah, who has always been a bit challenging for me, was rocked by the change. He left me depleted. Stephen and I were exhausted and had nothing left at the end of the day to give to each other. I nursed Ezra all through the night, Googling "postpartum depression" on my phone. There were good days, absolutely, but mostly, it felt like we were walking along the valley floor and for months I searched for the path up to the mountain peak. 

Eventually, we found it. (And by "eventually" I mean almost a year later) I can see now that God was at work during that time. At work in me, our marriage, our family... He was also at work in our community, preparing it for us. And at just the right time, His time, we made friends. And at some point, it's hard to say when, those friends became our family. That's what happens in the Bay Area. For the most part, everyone is a transplant: they're not from there, they're put there. And just like us, they have no family and no friends. You have each other. The reliance forms quickly, out of necessity, yes, but for us, it was also organic. It started with our kids, then with us and after some time, our husbands. How rare, and how wonderful! 

I have never, amongst friends, felt more seen, more loved, more accepted or more understood. These women inspired me to be a more loving wife, a more intentional mother and a more devoted daughter of Christ. 

Our last two years in Palo Alto were unlike anything I had experienced before, or will experience again. I don't think I knew just how unique it was until we moved and I realized how impossible it would be to recreate. All of our friends were truly people I enjoyed, loved and could learn from. They all attended our church and shared our love of Jesus. They all had three kids, they all had oldest boys and just one girl. They all home-schooled. They all had hard-working husbands with time consuming careers. They all lived close by. There was so much overlap! Oh and it was such a joy to share it all! 

They were there for the celebrations and joys, truly living out the word to rejoice while others rejoice. They were there when Stephen worked late, worked weekends and worked from Africa! They were there through the pitfalls and hard times, pregnancy and loneliness. Maybe most importantly, they were there for my kids. They played, read, fed, parented and genuinely loved my kids according to their love languages. That alone I will treasure them for. 

I hate to think that I was not the friend to them, that they were to me. I was in such a time of need and grace, I think I too often forgot to give. Despite my selfishness, I hope they know how much their friendship meant to me then, and still means to me now. They are the reason this goodbye was so hard. They are the reason I drove the road to Sacramento with blurry eyes and tear stained cheeks. They are the reason I will look back on our residency chapter with both fondness and sadness. I will miss them and I will miss what we created. Our little Stanford family. 

 On Stephen's last weekend off before starting nights and moving, they threw us a going away party at our favorite Stanford fountain, allowing Stephen to check off his final bucket list item: beer pong! It was an afternoon full of treats, games, babies, laughter and talking. We are so grateful that our friends made this happen for us! We sure felt the love! 

We weren't the only ones moving - our dear friends headed off to Texas the week before we left for Sacramento. Our final goodbyes were at the sandpit with a picnic dinner - a pretty common activity for this crew! The Yarboroughs were our first friends in Palo Alto and I'll never get over our similarities: boys, born five days apart, beautiful blonde girls and another set of boys, born six days apart! Of all their friends, my kids ask about Haven most of all! Gosh, we love that family! 

I had to pack up our house by myself, during the night while Stephen was at work and our kids were sleeping. It was no easy task! I absolutely could not have done it without the help of our friends. Ally took my bigs for an entire day so I could pack while Stephen slept during the day (without kid's screams and cries interrupting his sleep!) When friends come alongside you to love your kids as their own... there is nothing more sweet or more treasured. 

More sweet friends, final adventures and final goodbyes... 

And then it was time... And for this family, an expansion of our own family, there really are no words. 

And now, here we are! Not as miserable as I was as we faced our last move, but I have no doubt that is greatly in part due to the support I have from our friends in Palo Alto. We were loved then and their love has traveled with us here.