month nine

Size: Judah is wearing 6-12 month clothes and size 4 diapers. I guess I should probably schedule that 9 month well check now... oops! 

Eat: Eating solids at least two times a day still and loves everything we've given him! Eventually we just have to cut him off or he'd never stop eating...! He is still nursing too, and does so at least five times a day. Happy to say that it doesn't appear we'll be weaning anytime soon! 

Teeth: Four and a half teeth in that sweet smile! That's a thing, right?! His third top tooth just broke skin and it (and possibly three others, it's so hard to tell!) have been causing him quite a bit of pain. His shirts are soaked with drool and it's very rare that his hands or a binki aren't in his mouth. Ouch! He's taking up biting, too, another sure sign of teething troubles. Particularly my shoulder and knee. Thanks, Judah! 

Sleep: What is sleep again? Ha! Since my mom's visit last month and our road trip and week long visit at my sister's, and then more grandparents visiting, Judah has yet to sleep through the night. It's hard to say if it's all the changes, the teething pain, or maybe he's not getting enough to eat during the day, but he's been up at least once a night for the past couple of weeks. I'm not opposed to letting him cry it out, but homeboy just doesn't give up...! Annnd eventually I give in. Sigh. We'll get back to normal eventually. Still trying to keep him on a consistent schedule, though: going to bed around 7, up for the day around 7 and 2-3 naps during the day. 

Milestones: Judah's newest accomplishment: unassisted standing! He is constantly pulling himself up and trying to balance enough to let go of whatever he pulled himself up with! He doesn't like us to hold his hands while he's standing and he doesn't want to be put down sitting - the kid is independent and ready to go places! Cruising along the furniture and trying to take steps between two pieces... generally growing up faster than I'd like him to. Still mostly unsuccessfully feeding himself small bits of food (he's officially choked once so I think I'll just puree his foods from now until he's 18), solo drinking from his cup (the big kids were oddly really, very proud of this one) and playing peek-a-boo with his blanket. And maybe his best new achievement: saying "dada!" ...At dada! He lights up when Stephen gets home and he is always getting a big happy "dada!" It's so sweet! 

Likes: Eating food, splashing in water, the play kitchen toys, Hotwheels cars, being outside, his binki, his blanket and playing chase and peek-a-boo. He loves his momma, his siblings and his dada (basically, he doesn't like being alone and is happy and entertained when others are around!) He likes being held, trying to grab your phone, reading books before nap time (his favorites thus far are his Eric Carle ones) and getting his hands on whatever toy Uriah or Ezra is playing with.

Dislikes: Judah doesn't like being alone in a room and he doesn't like it when his food runs out (or when he has to wait for it to arrive). He also doesn't particularly like 11 hour road trips or sleeping in new beds/places. 

Things I want to remember: His squinty eyed, scrunch nose smile and breathy gasps of excitement. The way he gets so proud of himself for standing that he rocks with excitement and falls. His giggle when the kids play with him under and around his highchair. His "nanananana" babbles. The way he headbutts my legs when he's tired. The way he lays his head on my shoulder and snuggles his blanket when I sing to him before bed. His unruly white blonde hair. His zombie crawl: chasing us around using one knee and one foot. His happy, happy demeanor. His surprisingly big (beautifully blue) eyes. How much he looks like Ezra and his daddy. 

Gosh, you're just the best, Judah! Thanks for always going with the flow and making it pretty easy on us. You're such a joy and a true blessing. We love you so!

Sacramento or bust!

I've been avoiding this post for awhile now. It would certainly be easier to skip over it. But easier doesn't always mean good, or better. These people, this chapter in our lives, deserves to be recognized and remembered. Even if the words will never be enough. 

When we moved to Palo Alto, I was miserable. Not a first, but it didn't take long. I felt blindsided by Stephen's new residency schedule: 80, 100, 120 hour weeks. We had no family, no friends, no acquaintances or even connections. Uriah, who has always been a bit challenging for me, was rocked by the change. He left me depleted. Stephen and I were exhausted and had nothing left at the end of the day to give to each other. I nursed Ezra all through the night, Googling "postpartum depression" on my phone. There were good days, absolutely, but mostly, it felt like we were walking along the valley floor and for months I searched for the path up to the mountain peak. 

Eventually, we found it. (And by "eventually" I mean almost a year later) I can see now that God was at work during that time. At work in me, our marriage, our family... He was also at work in our community, preparing it for us. And at just the right time, His time, we made friends. And at some point, it's hard to say when, those friends became our family. That's what happens in the Bay Area. For the most part, everyone is a transplant: they're not from there, they're put there. And just like us, they have no family and no friends. You have each other. The reliance forms quickly, out of necessity, yes, but for us, it was also organic. It started with our kids, then with us and after some time, our husbands. How rare, and how wonderful! 

I have never, amongst friends, felt more seen, more loved, more accepted or more understood. These women inspired me to be a more loving wife, a more intentional mother and a more devoted daughter of Christ. 

Our last two years in Palo Alto were unlike anything I had experienced before, or will experience again. I don't think I knew just how unique it was until we moved and I realized how impossible it would be to recreate. All of our friends were truly people I enjoyed, loved and could learn from. They all attended our church and shared our love of Jesus. They all had three kids, they all had oldest boys and just one girl. They all home-schooled. They all had hard-working husbands with time consuming careers. They all lived close by. There was so much overlap! Oh and it was such a joy to share it all! 

They were there for the celebrations and joys, truly living out the word to rejoice while others rejoice. They were there when Stephen worked late, worked weekends and worked from Africa! They were there through the pitfalls and hard times, pregnancy and loneliness. Maybe most importantly, they were there for my kids. They played, read, fed, parented and genuinely loved my kids according to their love languages. That alone I will treasure them for. 

I hate to think that I was not the friend to them, that they were to me. I was in such a time of need and grace, I think I too often forgot to give. Despite my selfishness, I hope they know how much their friendship meant to me then, and still means to me now. They are the reason this goodbye was so hard. They are the reason I drove the road to Sacramento with blurry eyes and tear stained cheeks. They are the reason I will look back on our residency chapter with both fondness and sadness. I will miss them and I will miss what we created. Our little Stanford family. 

 On Stephen's last weekend off before starting nights and moving, they threw us a going away party at our favorite Stanford fountain, allowing Stephen to check off his final bucket list item: beer pong! It was an afternoon full of treats, games, babies, laughter and talking. We are so grateful that our friends made this happen for us! We sure felt the love! 

We weren't the only ones moving - our dear friends headed off to Texas the week before we left for Sacramento. Our final goodbyes were at the sandpit with a picnic dinner - a pretty common activity for this crew! The Yarboroughs were our first friends in Palo Alto and I'll never get over our similarities: boys, born five days apart, beautiful blonde girls and another set of boys, born six days apart! Of all their friends, my kids ask about Haven most of all! Gosh, we love that family! 

I had to pack up our house by myself, during the night while Stephen was at work and our kids were sleeping. It was no easy task! I absolutely could not have done it without the help of our friends. Ally took my bigs for an entire day so I could pack while Stephen slept during the day (without kid's screams and cries interrupting his sleep!) When friends come alongside you to love your kids as their own... there is nothing more sweet or more treasured. 

More sweet friends, final adventures and final goodbyes... 

And then it was time... And for this family, an expansion of our own family, there really are no words. 

And now, here we are! Not as miserable as I was as we faced our last move, but I have no doubt that is greatly in part due to the support I have from our friends in Palo Alto. We were loved then and their love has traveled with us here.