becoming big

I spent my entire pregnancy trying to picture the next stage of our lives - having three kids, moving for fellowship... due to our lack of knowing Judah's gender and the (still!) waiting game of matching for fellowship, I couldn't get very far with my imagination ;) From the very beginning, though, I could picture introducing Uriah to his new little sibling. He wanted a brother and had been guessing 'boy' from day one (and was even more set in his opinion when he saw Judah on ultrasound - he clearly had a "boy's hand") but said to me once, as he thoughtfully watched Ezra play across the room with loving eyes, "I think I would also like to have another little sister." So I knew, either way, this kid was going to fall just as in love as we planned to and I just couldn't wait...!

Older now than he was when Ezra was born he understood what was happening so much better. I knew he would transition well, offer me so much grace and be the biggest helper. He was able to express his excitement (and concerns! - "What if Ezra hits the baby?!" "How long until the baby can crawl and it starts wrecking all my things?") and as my due date became closer he would squeal with joy and tear up at the knowledge that he'd get to meet the baby soon. He was so ready to be a "big, big brother!" And I couldn't wait to make him one! 

Ezra, I knew, didn't quite know what was coming. She understood better than Uriah had when I was pregnant with her, but still... I knew there would be more of a transition period with her and while I was thrilled to be making her a big sister, I wasn't sure what it was going to look like. She's our baby girl and it was bound to rock her world a little bit. She expressed excitement all throughout my pregnancy and was guessing 'boy' by the end of it, but did she really know what was coming...? I figured her immediate reaction would mirror Uriah's and I was hoping it was her sweet and gentle side that came out and not her Iron Man/Ninja Turtle side... Not yet, at least ;) 

We had Facetimed the kids on Thursday night after Judah was born to tell them they had a brother ("I was right!" - They were both so excited!) and they came to the hospital with Nana and Papa to meet him the following morning, Uriah with a card for Judah - a picture of a castle/house with him, Ezra and Judah standing outside and the words, "I love you Judah" written across the top. I mean, come on...! It is currently hanging by his bedside, per his big brother's request. 

Uriah was equally worried about my bracelets and Band-Aids as he was excited to meet his baby brother - he's got the sweetest heart. He was quiet and calm and so tender and sweet. It melted my heart right into a puddle on the floor - I couldn't look at them without tearing up! Ezra was also very quiet, and true to my assumption, mirroring Uriah's reaction and excitement. They took several turns holding him and examining all his little features, Uriah so serious the whole time, always stopping to look up at me with his "I love you" eyes (as we call it!). Even though he seemed so reserved, you could tell he was happy! Ezra, though possibly a little confused by it all, proudly kept telling us, "I'm a big sister and a little sister!" Three weeks later and she's still proudly telling anyone who asks!
We traded him back and forth for awhile, answering all of Uriah's never ending questions, and I got in several snuggles with my bigs before I needed a nap and Stephen had to head to work. Uriah was hoping we'd be able to join Friday Pizza Movie Night, as it would be Judah's first one (!!) and neither of them liked saying goodbye to Judah or I.

I was so tired that day, I don't think it truly hit me until the kids woke up with us home on Saturday morning that I have three babies... We're a family of five... Oh and it gives me all the feels to think about it...!
And even though it's been three weeks now, it still surprises me to walk into a room with three little people in it. It takes us an hour to get ready to leave the house and we are habitually 30 minutes late every where we go, but man does it feel good to have Judah here and to be doing this life with this crew. Though we are still working out the kinks and maybe all doing a little big of adjusting still, the kids' love for their baby brother has not faded. And oh how mine has grown...!