Wednesday, May 4, 2016


April probably deserves several individual posts but I can't seem to find the time (energy? desire?) to sit down and do a proper catch up. The weather did not disappoint - spring in California is nothing short of perfection. In-between call days and night shifts we were able to spend some evenings at the soccer fields, explore some new hiking trails and make a trip to the beach. One week we were surprised with three whole days off! (I say "we" like I'm the one logging the long hours at the hospital!) We spent one day at the San Francisco Zoo, which was a huge hit for all four of us, the next  day exploring south in Pescadero (though the views and tide pools were amazing, I'd drive back for the artichoke garlic bread alone!) and the last day being lazy at home and around town. Two nights we were able to host dinner for friends, too, which was a treat since Stephen's schedule doesn't usually allow it. Another beach trip toward the end of the month and a recent Saturday train ride to the farmer's market, with lots of walks, park dates, play dates, hospital visits, shopping trips and silly home shenanigans in-between!

It was a good month, a goooood month, and it hit me one night sitting in the sand at the beach watching my three people play in the waves just how happy and content I was - content being the important word there. It's easy to be happy - even amongst the busy schedules and long days and the hard (and long!) adjustment from the move, I always could find reason to be happy. But content... Even at my happiest I have found myself thinking about, worrying about, looking forward to, planning the next thing, whatever that "thing" may be - a move, a baby, travel, change of any kind, really, even just wanting more - materialistic, physical things. It's not that I wasn't happy, I just wasn't content. I could never let myself get totally absorbed in the now, was never completely satisfied with what I had. While we still have more moves in our future and more travels and visitors and plans and babies, and while I certainly have wish lists for things, this month just did a number on my heart in giving it peace and rest. Change is ok and even wanting more is ok, but it no longer is such a pressing need to me. I needed that.

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